The Boy Who Lived or Harry Potter Magazine HPM
by Kat Small
Summary: The title basically sums it up. Some slash; don't read this if you worship HP or J.K. Rowling. NO OFFENSE INTENDED (not that I care if you do). And I got a new beta person so the third issue is being cruelly criticized as I type. Scary Friends...
1. Issue 1

The Boy Who Lived

Welcome to the first edition of…The Boy Who Lived or H.P.M. (Harry Potter Magazine).  Everything Harry can by found here, from interviews with Harry himself to tear-out posters!  And within these pages can be found a deadly secret…(more information on page 2)

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Editor's Note: (actually, note from the author)

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Disclaimer: J.K.Rowling owns everything in this "Magazine" from the characters to most of the plot.  I don't.  (Duh)

Ok, I'm going to be truthful.  I really don't think the Harry Potter books are that great.  Yes, the idea is amazing.  I love the plot.  And yeah, J.K.Rowling's obviously done pretty well for herself (RICHER THAN THE QUEEN).  But, despite that, I don't think she's that great a writer.  I mean, come on.  The story is basically the same in each book.

So, be warned.  This magazine isn't a friendly, "Gee, I love Harry, he's hot!" type things.  No, it's brutally honest.  Enjoy…

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1. Inside this Issue---

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Page 2. Deadly secrets

Page 3. Latest News

Page 5. Summary of Events

Page 7. Hot OR Not

Page 10. Hogwarts Fashions

Page 12. Wizard Runways

Page 13. Chillin with _________

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2. Deadly Secrets

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Hidden within these pages many questions are waiting to be found.  No hints shall be given! Muhahahaha! 

(Not that this actually fills up a whole page, but besides being a bad magazine, HPM also wastes paper.)

If you find that answers, review and write it down.  Person(s) who guess everything correctly get a guest appearance next issue.

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3. Latest News

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**Halloween News:** Thousands of Harry Potter fans swarm throughout the world begging for Bertie Bot's Every Flavor Beans and Sugar Quills.  Bewildered adults handed them Snickers and M&M's instead.  **Joking: yes or no?**

As costumes, many young brats demanded to have authentic Hogwarts robes and equipment.  Many wrote to Dumbledore asking if they could loan a set.  Poor mothers (and some fathers) stayed up all night sewing. **Joking: yes or no?**

(Page 4)

Mother of 13-year-old Kathy Perino and 7-year-old Scott Perino sadly tells her story.  Both her children died when after an unfortunate incident with a knife.  The girl was baby-sitting her brother and they decided that they would both be Harry Potter for Halloween.  It was the boy's idea to get real scars.  Kathy carefully, cut Scott's head open.  Scott, fighting back the pain, knifed a lightning bolt into his sister's head before passing out.  When the parents returned, both their children were dead.  The Perino's are insisting that J.K.Rowling is at fault for their children's stupidity.  **Joking: yes or no?**

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Page 5. Summary of Events

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For those of you who have not yet read the books (you lucky dogs) here's an extremely short summary of each book.

**~Book 1~** The Philosopher's Stone (or The Sorcerer's Stone) 

Harry Potter is a stupid, nerdy boy.  Hagrid, a stupid, ugly Giant, comes and tells him that he is a wizard.  Harry learns that a stupid, extremely ugly wizard named Voldemort (He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named) killed his parents and almost killed him.  Instead of killing Harry, Voldemort was almost killed.  Harry got a scar on his head.  Lucky him.  

So Harry goes off to his school.  Incidentally the school is named after Pigs Acne.  **Can you name it?**  Anyway, Harry meets a stupid, poor boy named Ron Weasely and a brilliant, snotty girl named Hermione.  They become good friends.  

After a lot of useless angst Harry saves the day.  He defeats Voldemort, and has a chat with Dumbledore.

**~Book 2~** Chamber Of Secrets

Harry goes back to the school for year three.  Some people turn to stone.  Is it Medusa?  No!  It's a diary from 50 years ago!  Save us Harry!  Harry gets into the Chamber of Secrets (bet you didn't see that coming).  He fights with Voldemort, defeats him again.  Has another chat with Dumbledore.  **Whose diary is it?**

(Page 6)

**~Book 3~** The Prisoner Of Azkaban (sorry about spelling)

Harry returns to school.  Harry finds out that a crazed murderer is trying to kill him.  More angst.  Blah, blah.  Does him little "I'm a brave detective" thing.  Surprisingly enough, NONE of the teachers are smart enough to do what he's doing.  Sirius (crazed murderer) tries to kill him.  He kidnaps Ron.  Harry follows Ron.  Sirius reveals that, in fact, it is Ron's pet rat that is a crazed murderer.  Huh?  Yeah, I know.  Really weird.  The rat, escapes to go restore Voldemort to his real power.  **What's the rats name?**

**~Book 4~ **The Goblet of Fire

Harry returns to school.  New tournament called the Triwizard Tournament.  Harry gets in even though he's underage (smell foul play anyone?).  Harry, even though technically he shouldn't be able to, does very well.  In the last challenge, he and another player tie.  They touch the medal and are transported to a sort of ceremony for Voldemort.  Other guy gets killed.  Boo-hoo.  Harry and the Dark Wizard to another dramatic fight scene.  Harry wins again cause of their wands.  (Don't ask)  Some more angst.  Get's back to the school.  More angst.  Talks with Dumbledore.  More angst.  **What's the name of the boy who dies? **

**~Book 5~ **The Order of the Phoenix

Harry is a stupid hormonal ass-whole.  Bitches a lot.  Wonders why everyone hates him.  Duh.  His friends have suddenly become scared of his PMS-like mood swings.  

Finds out that no one tells him anything.  Goes hormonal.  Angst.  Mopes a lot.  Nothing actually happens in the story except angst.  Fights a little with some Death Eaters (Voldemort supporters).  **Who Dies?  **

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Page 7. Hot OR Not

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**Today's guy:** Harry Potter

**The reviewers:** Hermione Granger

                         Moaning Myrtle

                         Ginny Weasely

**Hermione:** Well.  I mean, he's my best friend.  So, don't tell him what I say, ok?  Look. Truthfully, I think he's kind of stupid.  I mean, come on!  I figured out that whole thing with the basilisk in, like, 3 seconds.  And I wish he'd brush his hair.  The green eyes are nice, but his nose bothers me.  I wish…ok, I wish Malfoy would break it for him.  Don't you think he'd look nice with a crooked nose?  And anyway, he's dating Ron.  Oh, wait.  I shouldn't have said that…

Rating: NOT

(Page 8)

**Moaning Myrtle:** Ooooooohhh.  Oh, sorry.  I'll stop moaning for a while.  Harry?  Yum.  Yeah, he's nice.  I saw him naked once!  **********************************************************************************************************************************************************************(Moaning Myrtle was bleeped due to…inappropriate information)

Rating: HOT

(Page 9)

**Ginny Weasely:** He's hot, definitely.  Love his eyes, and…well, the whole package actually.  So brave and friendly.  But he's not my type.  I know, I know.  I was totally into him for a while.  But he's always acting so damn hormonal.  Don't get me wrong—he's sweet.  A better friend than a boyfriend.

Rating: HOT/NOT

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Page 10. Hogwarts Fashions—Written by Hermione

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Fashion is sooooo stupid.  We should be studying, not shopping.  But I was asked to write this article (probably because I'm the only one who can string a sentence together).  

Firstly, students have been wearing white cloaks a lot.  Invisibility cloaks are very nice, Harry, but not everyone is that lucky.  The next best thing is white.  "White is the new black." 

In honor of Halloween, I've included a section for costumes.  Harry is being superman.  Ron is being a pumpkin (isn't that cute).  And I think Halloween is immature for brainless idiots.  Ok, I'm being a cat…say nothing.

Malfoy is being a death eater.  Crabbe and Goyle are being a two-headed monster.  Fred and George are being the murderers of the two-headed monster.  Colin Creevy is being Harry.  

The teachers are all dressing as characters from the Lord of the Rings.  None of the "purebloods" seem to know what that it.  I really don't know how Dumbledore heard about it.  

(Page 11)

Dumbledore=Gandalf

Snape=Wormtongue

Flitwick=Pippin

Sprout=Merry (snicker)

Get this, McGonagall is being Arwen!  **(snicker) **   

That concluded my fashion article, I hope you enjoyed it.  

~Hermione Granger~

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Page 12. Wizard Runways by Dumbledore

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I love fashion!  Currently, lavender is all the rage for cloaks.  And, like, oh my gosh, LEATHER robes!  You won't believe how good Lupin looks like that!  Let me tell you…

Ahem, I mean.  Heh.  Joking.  Really, I am.  

Anyway.  

Clothes from Lord of the Rings is being seen throughout the Wizarding World this year.  And white is the new black, as Hermione said.  Hmm…well, that's it for today.   ~Professor Dumbledore~

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Page 13. Chillin with _________

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**Chillin With Harry!  **

Harry: Er…hi.  Who're you?  

Kat: I'm Kat.  I'll be interviewing you.  

H: Oh.  Ok.  I like attention.

K: We noticed.  So, tell me, how does it feel to be the stupidest person in the world?

H: Uh.  Ok, I guess.  

K: Who do you have a crush on?

H: That's classified information.  But, I'll tell you if you give me a kiss.

K: Eeew, no!  

H: You sure?

K: Well…ok!

*Kisses Harry*

H: That was fun. 

K: Yeah.  Too bad you're an idiot.

H: Sorry. 

K: Whatever, I can always have your dad.  Now, he's hot and smart.

H: Yeah, he is.  I mean! 

*panicks*

H: He's not hot!  Just smart!  

K: Right…

H: I mean it!  See, I have a crush on Ron…no, I mean Cho!  I love Cho!  Even though all she ever does is talk about her stupid dead boyfriend!

K: Huh.  Well, it was nice kissing…I mean, talking too you.  See you around.  

H: Bye.  Oh, shit.  I'm late to Potions!

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Next Issue

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 Look out for more of the same stuff next month!

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Ok, How'd you like it?  Not that I care, I had fun, so expect another by next week.  Flame away, I LOVE flames.  I post them on my website in the Hall of Gay Asses!  That isn't up yet, just in case you've been to my site.  But I'm almost done, hang on a sec…

~Kat Small~ 


	2. Issue 2

The Boy Who Lived

Welcome to the second edition of…The Boy Who Lived or H.P.M. (Harry Potter Magazine).  Everything Harry can by found here, from interviews with Harry himself to tear-out posters!  PLUS: Inside this new issue, you'll find…uh, ~3~ direct quotes (without quotation marks) from two of the books!  Which means, beware spoilers…whoops, should have mentioned that in the first issue…damn it…

Your challenge: Find the three quotes.  Tell me who says them, and what books they're from.  Go on!  (Warning: There may be some accidental quotes, if so, they will be counted, unless they're stupid)

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Editor's Note: (actually, note from the author)

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Disclaimer: J.K.Rowling owns everything in this "Magazine" from the characters to most of the plot.  I don't.  Also, I'm sorry for having quotes without quotation marks.  I didn't make them up; I did get them from he HP books, which were written by J.K.Rowling.  There, ya happy?

I'd like to clear something up because someone emailed me an annoying question.  I have read all the books.  YES, all of them.  More than once.  

Book 1: At last count, 43 (I stopped counting 2 years ago)

Book 2: 20-something.

Book 3: Over 50 (my favorite book in the series)

Book 4: 5 times (give me a break, it's long, and I hate it)

Book 5: 2 times.  Yeah, like most of you have even finished it yet…

See?  I know that books very well.  I'm not just saying what I saw from the movies.  This isn't just some sort of mangled version of Harry Potter I got off my friends.  So there, damn you!  

I'd also like to mention that there's a whole lot of new stuff in this issue.  I hope you like it!  Oh, yeah, if someone else decided to flame me, don't use email.  I'd rather have everyone read it, thanks.  

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1. Inside this Issue---

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Page 2. Letters From You

Page 3. Latest News

Page 5. Thoughts on Book 1

Page 7. Hot OR Not

Page 9. What They Said

Page 10. Hog Post

Page 13. Chillin with _________

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Page 2. Letters From You

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I thought that was very funny even if I disagree with somethings. Harry was all right in the first four books, though he was boring in the 5th though not to mention bigheaded. To answer your questions, For all the Joking or not I say not. The school's called Hogwarts, The diary is Tom Riddle's. The rat is called Peter Pettigrew or Scabbers. Cedric Diggory dies in the fourth book and Sirius Black in the 5th, the best character in the whole book! (Though you might disagree) Was I right? Please update soon, I can't wait for the next chapter or issue of H.P.M. It's really good!  --_Fire Mage6_

**Thanks!  I think that was a really nice review even though I disagree with you.  As for the questions: Joking Or Not; no, no, yes.  The last one MIGHT have happened somewhere in the world, so I'll give that to you.  The school is called Hogwarts, the rat is P.Pettigrew/Scabbers, Cedric Diggory dies in the 4th, and Sirius dies in the 5th.  Yay!  You got it!  As for Sirius, he is the best character in the book.  I absolutely agree on that!**

I resent the whole scar bit. Me killing Scott is fine. But he would have had to stand on a chair to cut open my head and ii don't even really like Harry Potter so there. Funny mag though. I DEMAND A GUEST APPEARANCE EVEN THOUGH I DOON'T GIVE A DRUM ABOUT THE STUPID QUESTIONS! And James Potter is ALL MINE! Sorry, sorta sugar high. Haha. I'm your first reviewer! *does a little dance* I likes. GIMME MORE! --WindSPun(kathy) (you_know@whatever.com) 

**Nice name…uh, WindSPun.  First off, I don't care what you resent.  Just be happy I didn't have Scott live.  The questions were not stupid.  Of course you can get a guest appearance.  Though, you might want to rethink that demand…yur always sugar high, and James would hex you till your pitiful excuse for a brain collapsed.  So there! **

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Page 3. Latest News

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**Real World News:** Matrix Revolutions comes out toady!  Hooray!  To bad for all you people who can't see R-rated movies, my condolences.  I'm especially if you're older then me.  (I'm only 13) 

**Harry Potter News:** And none of this is a joke, I swear.

Shooting of the third movie is (still) continuing in the UK, with this film being directed by some guy named Alfonso Cuaron. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban will hit theatres in the United States on June 4, 2004.  A few questions: why couldn't the Harry Potter movies have been shot at the same time (like the Lord Of The Rings).  And, how come the Matrix trilogy gets filmed so much faster then Harry Potter even though it has more special effects and action scenes?  

J.K.Rowling is once again Britain's richest woman. She earned £125 million ($190 million) in 2003 thanks to sales of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and from the second movie.  

(Page 4)

Avid readers of the HP books may possibly catch what has been called the "Hogwarts Headache". (gasp!) Pediatrician Howard J. Bennett reports that he has seen the headache in three children so far, all of whom admitted to reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix for several hours earlier.  And no, this is not a joke.  Beware…

It's amazing what some Christian extremists have resorted to: shouting at children through bullhorns, telling them they're going to Hell because they read Harry Potter.  Yes, bullhorns.  Yeah, I know…

  
Sir Alan Parker has insulted American moviemaker Chris Columbus for making the first Harry Potter movie terrible.  "It was terrible. Absolutely awful. I would have made it so much better than Chris Columbus," he says.  Smell jealousy, perhaps?

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Page 5. Thoughts on Book 1 by Kat Small

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Hmm…what is there to say?  I've seen it in all sorts of reviews.  "This book is magnificent, superb!" and "J.K.Rowling understands kids so well!"  Ratings of 10's and 5 gold stars.  I wouldn't have given it a three…

The book starts decently enough, sure.  It was interesting.  My main problem with it is the vocabulary.  Has she ever heard of a thesaurus?  Besides that, it's the characters that annoy me.  Some people might be fine with her Good vs. Evil thing, but I think it's stupid.  McGonagall watches the Dursley's for one day, and already she's convinced that they're a horrid family.  She says something about Dudley kicking his mother and screaming for candy.  Like he's the only one who's ever done that???  Give me a break; most kids have more than one tantrum about wanting something.  Most kids do kick their mothers at some point. 

With that, there's a lot stupid stuff cluttering the books.  I know it's a kids book (despite adults who claim it's a book for all ages) and I can't expect it to have a deep, philosophical meaning.  But, come one.  People walking around in emerald green cloaks?  And no one but Mr. Dursley notices?  Now, before these books were published, you hardly ever saw people walking around like that (except at LOTR conventions maybe).  It's fairly common now, but in the book, I should think someone would ask them what the hell they were doing.  

And, since they obviously walk around on "muggle" streets fairly often, how come they have so much trouble figuring out what normal people wear?  It doesn't actually come into the first book much (if at all) but in later books she mentions adult wizards being unable to dress like muggles.  THEY SEE THEM EVERY DAY, MOST LIKELY!  And most of the kids wear normal clothes, what, do they forget at Hogwarts?  "Gee, mommy, I've been at school for so long, I've forgotten how to wear pants."  Yeah, right…

And that first morning, why didn't Mr. Dursley call animal control if the cat was bothering him so much?  Or better, why didn't he throw something at it?  I love cats, hence the name (though it is my real name), but if she'd trying to make him look evil, well that would have done it.  All the animal rights people would have been burning effigies of Mr. Dursley.  

On to Dumbledore…

Ok, there are flashlights in the UK, correct?  And electricity?  Yeah, there must be, cause Ron's dad mentions it.  Just thought I'd check.  So, the old guy uses his little "Put-Outer."  It is doubtful that everyone in this town does go to sleep before midnight.  No one noticed the lights go out?  No one turned his or her lights on?  No one thought to call the electricity company?  No one thought to look out the window?  Unless it was REALLY dark out, you'd be able to see.  

And what if someone had come home late?  Everyone knows that a dark road is pretty dangerous.  Not that I'd mind if Dumbledore got hit, but those poor muggles!  

And this is all within the first chapter.  

(Page 6)

Ten years later, Dudley still can't count.  Eh?  You heard me.  The boy's 11 and he can't count.  Harry is treated like a modern Cinderella.  Harry never thinks of calling social services.  

As far as I can tell, J.K. Rowling simply enjoys insulting the U.K.  Bad educational system (or Dudley is beyond help), bad parental skills, and stupid kids.  Doubly bad school system since the school never asks the Dursley's why one son is well dressed, and the other wears ill-fitting clothes.

I'll skip a bit of the useless parts.  I did like the thing with the snake.  I wonder if that got into the news at all.  I wonder who sued the zoo.  

Anyway, Harry gets this letter.  Now, Harry's not supposed to be stupid, I don't think.  Not brilliant, but I don't think J.K. Rowling purposely made Harry act dumber than Dudley.  WHY DIDN'T HE OPEN THE LETTER BEFORE GOING BACK INTO THE KITCHEN?  He should have known that the Dursley's would take it from him.  

And why didn't the Dursely's know it was coming.  Petunia later mentions that they were sure he'd be another freak (wizard).  Didn't they know that letter was coming?

And when thousands of letters were shooting out of the fireplace, Harry couldn't manage to grab more than one?  

Moving on, the writing on the letters is emerald green.  McGonagall's cloak is emerald green.  Mr. Dursley sees a man in an emerald green cloak.  50 points to any reviewers who see another "emerald green" something.  There are more, I assure you.

And when Hagrid tells the (apparently retarded) boy that he's a wizard, Harry never says, "Wizards don't exist."  Tad on the stupid side, isn't he?  By the way, we're still in chapter 4.  

Doubtless you can tell that there's more.  Many more.  I don't have the time to list every little thing.  If you'd like to disagree feel free to flame.  Just make sure that you can back it up.  Maybe I'll even agree.  There probably is a lot of stuff I've missed in the book.  No doubt dozens of examples of literary magnificence lay unnoticed by me.  I'm not being sarcastic (well, yes, I am, but not completely).  I'm biased.  I know that.  I did just reread the book last week, and it is sitting next to me for easy access.  But I'm sure that a lot of the above things can be proven wrong.  So, please, **Please** flame me.  ~Kat~

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Page 7. Hot OR Not

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**Today's Guy:** Draco Malfoy

**The Reviewers:** Minerva McGonagall

                  Hermione Granger

                  Peeves

**Minerva:** Isn't he a little young for me?  Anyway, he's a jerk.  He's mean to my prize student, my only hope for the future of wizards everywhere (Hermione).  Besides, I hate platinum blondes.  

Rating: NOT

(Page 8)

**Hermione:** Ew.  Just…ew.

Rating: NOTNOTNOTNOTNOT

**Peeves:** Well…I always have been partial to blondes.  ~cackles~  He does look like girl, you know? 

Rating: HOT, if he wasn't a guy

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Page 9. What They Said

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**Harry Potter:** I am not a stupid, hormonal bastard!!!  I'm a sweet, innocent hero!  I'm a hero!  I've accomplished so much more than Ron and Bucktooth!  I mean, Hermione.   Anyway, I use bigger words than Ron!  And me **** is longer than his, too!!!

**Ron Weasely:**  I'm not ugly!  And that's not true Harry!  Mine's longer!!!

**Hermione Granger:** They are stupid.  I resent being called snotty.  And.  I'm sorry to say this…but…

Harry, you—you look terrible.  Naked, I mean.

**Snape:** Finally, someone agrees with me!  Damn that boy and his stupid friends!  

**Dumbledore:** Don't you think you're being a bit…rude?

**Cho Chang:** Harry, did you really kiss her?  Oh, I hate you!  Cedric was so much better than you!  ~sobs~

**Voldemort:**  It is not my fault that I'm ugly!  He defeated me!  I hate him!  It's always his fault!  He's just a stupid kid!  How can he defeat me!  Once a year, like clockwork, he beats me!  He made me ugly!  YOU DON'T KNOW POTTER!  HE DID IT, I KNOW HE DID IT—and that J.K. Rowling woman!  She wrote it down!  They must all die!!!

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Page 10. Hog Post

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In this brand new section, read letters from and to all the characters you know and love (heh, right…)!  You know you want to… 

**(Beware slash among other things)**

**Yes it should be Owl Post.  Like I care?**

Student Letters 

Dear Harry,

        I miss Cedric!  I know you're my new boyfriend, but I really can't go on without Cedric!  How about you pretend to be Cedric!  Ok? 

Love,

Cho Chang 

Harry-

        Haha, Cho asked me to tell you to reply to her soon.  

-Ron

Ron-

Why are we writing to eachother?  We sleep in the same dorm…

-Harry

Hermione-

        Hi!  You just got tagged!

-Ron

Ron-

        You're such a freak…I am not playing this stupid game.

-Hermione

Cho-

        You just got tagged! (Don't tell Ron that I'm playing)

-Hermione

Hermione-

        Can you please, please tell Harry to write back to me?  I don't believe that Hedwig is sick!

-Cho

Cho-

        Uh, could you just tag someone?

-Hermione

Hermione-

        I'm NOT playing!  ~gasp~ You and Harry are going out, aren't you?  I knew it!  

-Cho

(Page 11)

Teacher Letters 

My Dear Snape,

        The fates tell me that you will die on the morrow before breaking fast unless you come and…visit me…

Love,

Sibyll Trelawney

My…Dear Sibyll

        I'm not dead.

From,

Snape

To Professor Dumbledore,

        You're hot.

From,

Your secret admirer

To Lockhart,

        I'd appreciate it if you kept such letters to yourself.  

From,

Albus

p.s. I should also like to mention that putting your signature on the outside of a anonymous letter rather gives you away.

(Page 12)

To my love,

        Severus!  How dare you cheat on me!

Still in love with you,

Sibyll

Sibyll,

        Cheat on you?

Merely answering due to curiosity, 

Snape

Love,

Yes!  Cheat on me!  I saw you, you and that disgusting werewolf…macking!  Goodness, I don't think I'll ever get that image out of my mind…

-Sibyll

To Remus, 

        You and Siruis are dating?  How…distasteful.

-Severus (Not a werewolf, unlike you)

Severus-

        Yeah.  He's dreamy.  And you know what?  Wolves and big, black dogs are compatible.  

-Remus

To Remus,

        Argh!  I'm scarred for life!!!

-Severus

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Page 13. Chillin with _________

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Chillin With…Fred and George 

George: It's always Fred first…

Kat: Ok, George and Fred. 

*shrug*

Fred: It should be alphabetical.

K: Yeah.  Well, anyway, I'm interviewing you guys.  

F: Gee, we didn't notice.

K: Oh, sorry, I just interviewed Harry.  Sort of used to talking to idiots, you know?

G: He did give us 1000 galleons…

K: See what I mean?  Stupid!  Would you give away that much money?

F: No, but, then, we aren't very generous.

G: She has a point. 

K: I know I do.  So, who do you guys have crushes on?

G: Um…well, I dunno.

F: He likes Winky the house elf.  And I like Dobby.

G: All that crying is quite a turn-on.

F: And I like how Dobby wears so many layers.  Give you something to wonder about, you know?

K: Yuck…no, seriously?

G: Um…

F: I guess Mrs. Norris.  

G: No, she's mine. 

F: Fine!  I'll take Lupin's boggart!

G: Doesn't it turn into Mum for you?

F: Good point…

*makes a face* 

K: Er.  Well, anyway, how do you feel about Ron?

G: Ronnie?  

F: The Retard.

G: Or Ronnie the Reject. 

K: And do you guys like Cho?

F: She's that little whiny bitch, isn't she? 

G: I told you, crying turns me on.

*laughs*

F: Harry deserves her though.

G: Yeah.  They're both annoying.  

K: Ok, thanks.  Bye.

F: Let's go blow something up.

G: Ok! 

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Next Issue

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 Some new stuff, basically the same stuff.  

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Hope you enjoyed.  Totes ~Kat~


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